You know it's home when you just miss it
by messymind
Summary: Killian Jones has lived a long life...so what Happens to Emma Swan when he decides that maybe it is time move on with his brother Liam ...
Obviously the idea that Killian might decide to crossover has given me a boatload of feels...I don't own Emma...or Hook or anything OUAT related.

Time to Let Go...

She watches as he takes that tentative first step across the great divide with his brother at his side, and she's happy for him...she swears she is. She knows that 300 years is a long time and that peace (especially with his long lost brother) is a much better offer then the chaos of Storybrooke and those few but far between quiet moments that they get together. Besides she's always held him a little at arm's length anyway so she deserves to lose him (never mind that hours early in their house by her cradle she felt a sudden need to see his eyes and her chin on a face together) and he deserves to be able to go on to a better place where she's sure he'll spend the rest of his days sailing the seas on one adventure after another. She's happy for him she really is, so she told him to go, not that he needed her blessing. She told him she'd be fine and that he should know that she never fails...right? So she'll find a way out of Underbrooke and back home (to a home without him) and it's okay because she's already lost him to death and said goodbye three times and that's two more than most people get. So she tells herself those extra moments even the ones were they were Dark Ones are special and stolen.

They've already said their goodbyes and he told her he'd think of her everyday again...she told him "Good" like she meant it and gave him a smile (even if it didn't quite reach her eyes) because that's what you do right? She'd already been selfish with him, with herself and if life has taught her anything it's that she doesn't get to be selfish, because she loses in the end anyway.

He's almost across now and Liam is slightly ahead of him, on what looks like a dock but really she can't see through the blur of tears that she's trying to look through as she attempts to put on a brave face for everyone (him, her, Henry) to keep them from falling and the contents of her stomach from coming out. She feels the weight of her father beside her and his hand squeezes hers. He's almost there (almost gone forever, I mean there is no promise she'll end up where he's gone) and he hasn't looked back once, so she decides she's allowed one more selfish moment for herself, besides she's already said goodbye to him three times...and he's almost at the cusp of Forever anyway... a forever without her or them or all the things she had secretly been wanting and planning... so she does what she does best and runs.

First she thinks maybe the cemetery so she can see his stone tipped and know...but the draw of their house is too much so she turns to go there instead and wallow surrounded by the ghosts her lost childhood and their almost future.

"Come on Little Brother...lets go home!"

...HOME...

He hears his brother's voice break through the fog that has carried him over the stone bridge on to a better place(without her golden strands and smiles she saves just for mostly him). He knows she'll eventually be fine (she's a tough lass after all) and that she'll get out of here just fine (she never fails after all) but he can't help but feel like he's failed her...or them...or their future? He's not really sure anymore, but this may be his only chance at ending up in a good place and he's had a good run right? He has had more adventures then he can count, the love of two women and 300 years...that's a lot more than most get and yet not nearly enough to love her, when he could spend 300 years just watching her sleep curled up next to him. She still has his ring...he knows it's on a chain around her neck but he's desperate to see it on her finger...

...HOME...

So he does what he swore he wouldn't do and takes one last look before his foot crosses that golden line. And...and...she's not there...not that he blames her...not at all. He told her he wouldn't look back but know he's broken yet another promise to her (and to himself) and the space where his heart should be beating (or half of hers?) aches with want and he wonders if it's even possible for dead person to ache this much. And he JUST MISSES her so much already. And he lied... there will never be a day he doesn't want to chase after that infernal woman..to the end of the world or time.

...HOME...

And then he turns around and looks at Liam...really looks..."I'm sorry...I...she's...I .."

"Killian it's okay...she's your home now I get that...I see that... I was just trying...oh hell Little Brother go get your princess...I'm sure I will see you both...aga"

He's off like a flash, his feet carrying him past his friends (he has friends) and he hears her mother let out an audible sob and he knows just where she'll be.

She's standing outside the fence looking in at the future she could have had and she miss it and will morn it but what she really misses what she's missed since he stepped on that bridge is him, but there's no sense dwelling in it now...it's gone (he's gone). She thinks she almost hears her name being called but she knows it's just the last threads of hope hanging on (or maybe Hades in taunting her). She's a Lost Girl always will be...

"SWAN"

She's not dreaming , she just knows...


End file.
